I've decided 2017 is going to be ridiculously amazing.

We've nearly reached the end of the first month of the new year, and already there seems to be this unspoken sense of anticipation for what is to come. This feeling is normal for most, of course; new year, new possibilities. Still, just a few short weeks ago, as we raised our glasses, toasted, and welcomed in 2017, I was overtaken by a very exciting impression: this year was going to be big. What does it mean? Who the heck knows; but boy, is it exciting!

Possible premonitions aside though, the new year truly does provide the greatest of opportunities in which every single person can take part: to make every day of this year great for themselves. We are each more than capable of every success, so long as we actively set out to accomplish the goals we wish to achieve. Action is a vital factor in the equation to finding true happiness. Whatever it is you want, know that you can get it, but only after the proper amount of work has first been put in.

So here's my wish for all of you: I hope you realize you are capable of more than you originally thought, and that you take chances to find out more about yourself than you ever knew before. I hope you take a leap of faith; give yourself an adventure you'll never forget. I hope you open your heart, even if it's been broken, and let the possibility of love give you promise. Make mistakes, and have the courage to try again. Recognize the good, hold on to those who make you smile, and let yourself love without fear. And finally, I hope you make great plans, but most importantly, plan to be surprised.


Here's to the best year yet! All my love.

An Angel Bought a Wedding Dress...

I never asked her why, and I regret it
for she seemed to give herself entirely
without a thought.
Angels are like that, I suppose;
floating round, as if in secret;
serving no purpose except to
serve others.

Her hands were course and worn;
hard work embedded in her fingertips
But such the work was full of love
you would have sooner touched a cloud
or a delicate flower
She loved flowers.

The beautiful buds in full bloom that day,
and reflected in the window as they passed by.
Her young friend: bright, and fair;
She put her hand to the glass as she gazed, earnestly;
A flowing stream of white satin and lace
shining back in her eyes.
She was to be married.

But then, her white eyes went dark;
she had come back down from the clouds.
All that was mirrored in the window now
were the flowers, as they continued on.
Her pocket book seemed heavier now;
a heartbreaking reminder:
Such beautiful things have a price.

She looked at her dear friend walking beside her
and knew exactly what she must do,
without even a second thought.
No less a sacrifice, but a token of love
she could not let go un-given.
Angels are like that, I suppose.

A beautiful morning, a well-made bed;
a row of flowers showing through
a bridal shop window.
But the window inside was bare.
Tears of joy filled this angel's eyes as she
lay the dress down over the edge of the bed:
a flowing stream of white satin and lace.

The young friend fell to her knees
at the sight of such a treasure.
But when asked of the bearer of this God-sent gift,
She, as I suppose angels do, simply smiled,
shrugged her shoulders, and walked away.

She never told me this story herself;
angels don't like boasting, you see.
And such an angel couldn't stay forever;
Here on the ground, there is such a thing
as too much good an angel can do.

So she is floating now.

Here's to: well, everything.

The thing about new beginnings is that they require something else to end.

2015: gone. 2016: ahead. Experiences of this past year have officially been filed away into the good ol' memory box. They will be re-visited often and remembered as some of the greatest, most adventurous memories of my life thus far. This time last year, I was just returning home from my time in Peru: the greatest first out-of-country experience I could have ever hoped for. I sincerely hope everyone I love is given such an opportunity to find a refueled ambition for life and greater realization of their potential. Such opportunities were mine in Peru, and 2015 was welcomed with insurmountable blessings: I wrote a play and saw it produced; after taking a leap and applying for grad school in London, I was accepted; my wonderful job gave me the support necessary to fund my crazy dream of moving to London; and finally, that dream became a reality. I shared my first ten days in Europe with my beautiful mother; the loveliest of experiences that I will treasure forever. When she returned home and left me to begin my new life alone, I felt incredibly insecure and unsure of my capability to do so much on my own. But I did; I took a deep breath and inhaled all the change and possibility that was headed my way.

Now, at the end of the old, and at the start of this new year, I am once again reminded just how wonderful life can be; and how loved we are by our Father in heaven. Every individual's life path is a testament of how well the Lord knows each and every one of us. The power of hindsight is the ability to see the Lord's hand at work; to look back and understand with better clarity, that what once was a seemingly closed door, was in fact God's way of saying: "Not yet", or "Don't worry; I have something better for you".

Have faith in the Lord's timing, my friends. This new year is sure to bring beautiful adventures for all; just maybe not when and in the way we expect. But they will come; and just as He knows us better than we know ourselves, these unexpected adventures will end up being just what we need in the long run.

All my love, dearest ones. May the experiences of this past year make you feel loved, and may this upcoming year bring you all the happiness and adventure the world has to offer.

Turning Dreams into Plans

The time is fast approaching when this incredible new adventure will begin. I'm sure it won't completely sink in for me until I have finally made the eleven hour journey over the Atlantic and successfully landed on British soil. And while there is still so much to do to prepare, so much stress and anxiety left to be endured, I feel inclined to talk on the subject of dreams and plans.

How many of us have that one recurring thought every time our mind wanders? How many of us have that: "Some day", or "Eventually", or "Before I die", "I'll do ____."? There is a quote I often come across that lays all these phrases to rest:

Bucket lists are good. They are the first step. They remind us of our desires for bigger and more beautiful things. But why should those things be left on paper? 

We all have plans. Even those of us who don't think we make plans; we do. We all plan to get through a work week and eventually get a paycheck. Most of us make plans for a fun weekend activity. Many of us plan to go to college and eventually make a job into a career. Some of us make plans to marry and have a family. We don't all have the same life plans, but they are all plans: actions carried out consecutively over a long period of time towards one particular goal.

Life is fashioned by making plans; by looking ahead. But does anybody ever plan on being surprised? Do any of us make a plan to defer from the norm and do something we may wish to do, but never actually thought we would? If the answer is no, my question then is, "why not?"

I finally asked myself that question just a couple years ago: "Why not?" Up until that point, I thought I had plans. For years I worked to set up my life exactly the way I thought I wanted it to play out. I had personally taken part in every decision that had made up my life, and then suddenly, I didn't see myself in any of it. I realized all too soon that my plans were not the plans intended for me. To my confusion and anguish, I saw so many things that I had planned for slip from my hands, and I didn't understand why. Hadn't I done everything right? What purpose was there in feeling so lost and alone?

By the end, there was little to nothing left of that life. The only choice I had was to rethink everything entirely, and start over. I had nothing to lose and absolutely no other way of thinking, so I simply let go. And when I did, the most incredible thing happened. Life started to become the exact opposite of what it was before; filled with thoughts and experiences I didn't believe myself capable of. This new idea of "why not?" began to trump any previous thoughts inadequacy or incapability. I started taking chances, making decisions with confidence, and finally coming out of the woodwork. It wasn't too long before I realized just how much I had been missing while I was too tentative to step outside of the norm; to be surprised.

Life started happening. With every decision I made, I was reassured that I was on the right track; that I was finally making the plans that were right for me. I dared to imagine that I could do more than I ever thought I could; that I could have a different life than I originally intended. And I am forever changed and all the better for it.

So, conclusion: it's possible; all of it. So don't just wish, do. Those little recurring thoughts you have when your mind wanders; that bucket list you have hanging on your wall or tucked away in your journal: don't ignore them. Trust your thoughts and intuitions; they stay with you for a reason. Take action and make plans. But above all, plan to be surprised.

There is Love in Lima

Well, what can I say? "Time flies when you are having fun" is the only plausible excuse I can give to explain my two week absence. So, without further ado, here comes the run down:

1. The City.

First of all, Lima is huge. Much like Los Angeles or even New York, but more complicated in its make up. The entire city is sectioned into districts which are then divided into even smaller districts. The districts vary in class distinction, but there isn't necessarily an order or pattern to their location throughout the city; everything and everyone is mismatched everywhere. Unlike many other big cities, there are very few main roads. The entire city is a maze of back roads and private streets through the various districts. Even after four weeks, I can still look out the window of a taxi on my way home and realize that I have never been down that particular street before. There are dozens of ways to get from point A to point B. It definitely makes the ride home from work interesting.

While on the subject of driving; the traffic here is absolutely insane and the drivers are terrible. Street lights and traffic rules are merely guidelines or suggestions. Everyone is constantly weaving in and out of other cars, cutting each other off, speeding through small spaces in traffic, and stopping for no apparent reason. And they use their horns; a lot. You would think someone would move forward in traffic if they could, so what's the point in honking? Nothing like that matters here; not in the slightest. There is a magnet connecting a drivers fist to his horn. I can't help but laugh after the tenth honk within the first three minutes of sitting in the taxi.

As much as I prefer walking, it isn't any safer than traveling by car. Here in Peru, pedestrians do not have the right of way while crossing the street. There are specific cross ways which give way to pedestrians, but since the cars don't really heed traffic laws, people are required to be extremely cautious. All I can say is it definitely keeps you on your toes.

Now for some more awesome things: Within almost every district is a small park. The one in our district just happens to be a few steps outside our front door. The parks are very well maintained with trees and local flowers. People enjoy walking their dogs and the children like to run around the monument that stands in the center. I love spending time in that park. I'll decide to take my daily run outside, or just sit on one of the benches and write. It's a surprisingly tranquil place midst all the noise of such a large city.

The night life of Lima has definitely become a highlight. Everyone is about their business as they are during the day, but there is a different energy that emerges throughout the city in the dark. The YMCA of Peru is about five blocks from my house. I've had a membership for about a week now and have gone every night for a great work out and then a ballet class. Even something as simple as going to and from the gym is so much more fun at night.

Over this past weekend, my (Peruvian) parents took me to the historical downtown area of Lima. It was dark but the streets were lined with lights, accentuating the highlights and shadows of every intricate detail on each building. During the ten minute drive, the street was tight and compact, until we finally reached the square. The sky cleared of all the concrete skyscrapers and opened to the most beautiful plaza. The entire history and architectural splendor of this city was compacted into a few blocks of this entire city. I was blown away by the amazing things I saw that night. It was definitely my favorite night of this experience so far.

2. The School/The Work

Before coming here, I knew very little about the school in which I would be teaching. I had been given a general idea of the work I would be doing there, but it wasn't until completing my first week that I realized just how much work I was being entrusted to accomplish. I would be teaching weekly performing arts classes to the primary and secondary grades (grades 3-12) and organizing a production; I knew that much. The overwhelming panic came from learning that this production was to be a concert; a compilation of five different shows performed by five different grade classes. Oh, and we had about four weeks until performance night. WHHAAATTT??? I was extremely daunted by the task, but I managed to take a deep breath and roll up my sleeves.

We got to work immediately; and that is where the real struggle came. The biggest culture shock I have had so far, even above the language barrier, is the contrast between an American and Peruvian classroom. These kids, as wonderful and sweet and fun as they are, cannot sit and listen for five minutes before running amok. Asking them to focus to learn a dance sequence or even getting them into position to begin a run-through is near impossible most of the time. I'm sure they are adjusting to my teaching style just as I am adjusting to their chaos. I reassure them every day that I know they are capable of what I ask of them. They are amazing kids. I love each and every one of them more every day. It's difficult work, but the satisfaction is immeasurable. I sit and laugh and play with those kids at the end of the day and realize just how lucky I am to be here. These children will be a blessing that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

3. The people

This new place, this new life has been easier to adjust to because of the people that I have met. It is custom here to say hello with a big smile and a kiss on the cheek. Everyone is so gracious and kind and curious. The energy is tangible inside even a small room of people. When in conversation with them, they are so sincere in wanting to know everything about you. It is one of the most infectious environments I have ever been in. I am so grateful to be meeting such wonderful, beautiful people. It has been incredibly easy to make friends; ones that I know I will treasure for years.

An incredibly long entry, I know, and probably a little spotty; I'll admit I was distracted with a number of other things while writing this. Future entries will be more specific with detailed experiences and such. From here on out, the entries will also be weekly so as to spare you all from reading a novel every three weeks. So until next week, love your life; do what you love and love what you do; don't let a day go by without telling your loved ones how much they mean to you. Life is good my friends; life is good. Go out there and make it count.


Cheers!


PHOTOS:

*This is a private blog. As such, please do not share any photos from this website. Thank you.*

From left to right: Isabelle, Kelly, Wendy

The secondary class: 1st grade

Always smiling around these girls

From left to right: Kelly, Wendy, Fabio,
Mayra, and Layla

Sweet Kelly

Silly girls

Isabelle's smile is infectious 

Layla is such a dear

Love these guys

Not sure what it's called, but they
are on trees everywhere. Very pretty

President's Palace in Mayor Square

Gorgeous downtown Cathedral. There
were about five weddings taking place at the same time that night.

Dracula's Castle; Downtown

 

Government Offices. The brown balconies
have the most interesting story behind them:
it was custom during the colonization of Lima
that government officials only corresponded
with their wives from the street up to the
balcony during the work day.

Learning to Swim: Finding Diamonds in the Rough

Imagine for a moment: a bird; maybe the same one just outside your window. See her gliding through the air; free as the clouds that sift through her wings. Now imagine, if you can, that bird being plucked from the sky and thrown into a large strongbox full of water; the top immediately closing and locking shut. There is no way out, there is no point in calling for help. The bird must learn to swim, or drown.

Many of us long for things we have yet to experience. Places we've never seen, people we've never met; the great unknown possesses a certain appeal that is tantalizing but also deceptive.

I wasn't sure what I was expecting before arriving here in Lima. But upon exiting the airport and taking in this new world I had thrown myself into, I immediately realized the total contradiction of what I imagined and the unappealing reality that stood before me. It didn't take long for me to realize just how inapt I truly was in this new place. The surroundings, the culture, and the language were all elements in this cesspool of foreignness that I was being forced to tread. After just a week, I think I have finally learned the true exactness in the term "sink or swim".

Now, I can't say that I am effortlessly paddling through the waves just yet. This bird is still very much struggling to adapt to her new surroundings; constantly kicking and breathing to keep herself afloat. But I will say that the most wonderful people you will ever meet are more likely to be found in the lowliest of places. Every person I have met thus far has been a life raft, keeping my head above water. I had not been working in this new school for more than twenty minutes before I fell completely in love with those children. They give me a purpose here, and reassure me every day that they want and need what only I can give them. I am so thrilled to wake up every morning with resole; knowing that what I am doing will make a difference in the lives of these children. This has been a driving force as I continue to familiarize myself with my new surroundings and slowly grow to love everything about this experience.

So, one day at a time, but loving every minute of it, and finding beauty in the....well.....not so beautiful. ha.

* Sorry I don't have many pictures yet, but the one above is the view from my rooftop at dusk. Down the hall from my bedroom on the top floor, there is a door that goes onto the roof where the laundry is hung to dry. It has easily become my favorite place; to think, to listen. This is the first place I finally had a moment to myself on the first day. I looked around and thought, "Okay; I can do this."

All my love. Till next week!

Three days and counting...

After months and months of planning and preparation, we are now just a few short days from take off. For those of you who are new to this story, let me fill you in:

It was around late fall of last year that I began my correspondence with an internship adviser at BYU. I had heard from a member of my bishopric-who is also an adviser at the university-about different internship opportunities in Peru. I was told the internships are generally for Education/English majors to teach English as a second language, but I was curious as to the likelihood of a theater major being invited to teach using drama and performance as a language/learning tool. After proposing this idea to my adviser, it was all a matter of sending every resume and CV in my arsenal to the school directors in Lima and then waiting for their response. It took a good few weeks, from what I remember. I was on holiday break, walking out of a movie with my family when I received the call. Not only was I being accepted as an intern, I was being invited to introduce an entire performance program to this elementary school. This news was followed with a wave of both excitement and anxiety. The responsibility of starting up an entire program in a foreign country was one of-if not the most-daunting task I had ever been faced with. Despite the intimidation I felt, I accepted the position without hesitation.

So now here we are. The amount of work in preparation for this experience has been extensive, but now, there isn't much left to do accept board that plane. I cannot even begin to express my joy and excitement for this opportunity. I know it will be a great adventure. Peru, alla voy!